Sunday, August 16, 2009

A tale of two Moms


http://www.flickr.com/photos/gingerbell/237014485/in/set-72157594273852754/


The two lovely women in the photo are my Mother Bea and my Mother in law Modesta. This photo was taken of them on the day they met at a housewarming party when we moved into our house 3 years ago. Jose and I have been together for over 20 years but because they lived in different states had never met.

These two women shared many things in life tho they came from two very different backgrounds and didn't speak the same language. They both had a very keen sense of humor, loved to play games and were well loved by their children. They enjoyed baseball,animals,good food and flowers. They both had many Brothers and sisters most of who had passed away before them.

Sadly 6 months ago on February 12th sweet Modesta passed away surrounded by her children and her Husband. Her loss has been heartbreaking and has left us all with great sadness in our hearts but also great joy that she was in our lives and we knew we are all better for being loved by her.

It is with a heavy heart that I write that on the 12th of August My Mom Bea passed away very suddenly while Jose and I were out of town. I would like to say that when she left this world she was surrounded by those who loved her as Modesta was but this is one thing they didn't share. She passed alone and this more then any thing fills me with a sense of sorrow and guilt even tho I know that there was no way I could have prevented her passing. Had I have been with her would it have made it easier for her to go; could I have told her I loved her and held her as she did me on the day I was born; if I begged her not to go would God have heard me, did she wait till I left for vacation so I couldn't beg her to stay with me. I'll never know and because they won't let us see her to say goodbye my brother and I will have to remember her as she was the last time we were with her.

I am so grateful that my brother and his wife were able to travel here from Oregon so we could be together. It was never easy for Mom because she raised us on her own and it was always the 3 of us against the odds and it is right that we should be together to do what has to be done.

Later this week per her request we will be spreading some of her ashes in the Wabash River and My brother will be taking the rest to the pacific ocean that she loved.

I don't make this post to make anyone sad but to share these two special women with others and to say.......Take every opportunity to show your Mother how much she means to you and cherish your times together; in the blink on an eye they can be gone..

Even tho Mom could be a pain in the ass sometimes I would give anything to hear her voice on my answering machine saying "Ginger this is your Mother call me, I love you."

I love you too Mom!

12 comments:

Mary said...

Oh Ginger, I didn't know, I'm so sorry.. I was buried in my own family issues... My heart aches for you right now,, wishing you the best and send my love...

Ginger said...

Mary I am touched by your kind words. I am so grateful for the connection that you and I have made over the months, it means so much.

I so hope your family issues come to a good place soon and please know I am always around if you need someone to talk to.

Marie S said...

I am so sorry for your hurting heart.
She is still with you , her hugs are just different now.
Talk to her and tell her you love her everyday.
Love and hugs.

Ginger said...

Thank you so much Marie for your kind words and heartfelt advice.
Ginger

coltpixy said...

I am sorry for your loss. I wish that there was something I could do to ease the ache of missing her. That is just not possible though. When I was little my grandmother used to tell us that "when someone passes away they are never really gone. They always live on in your heart."

pinkcloudsandangels.artfire.com said...

Dear Ginger, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear mother. I can only tell you what I believe. That said, I think she probably chose to leave this life while you were away, knowing that you would beg God not to take her and you would beg her to stay. It was her time to go and she did it on her terms. It's never easy, but please believe that her spirit will always be with you and that you'll be together again one day. Sending you pink clouds and angels. Peggi

RFColorfulCreations said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. She will always be in your heart. Keep your chin up and remember the good times.

ClayItAgain / 12MidnightOils said...

Ginger-
Sending you love, strength, comfort and peace.

Haffina said...

My thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time.

Creative Critters said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. Reading this makes me very thankful that my mother and I have reconnected again after not talking for many years. We actually reconnected last fall when my brother died. It turns out we really needed each other. I wish there were words I could say to ease your pain. The best I can do is send virtual hugs and my deepest sympathy.

UBK said...

Ginger -

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family right now. I'll heed your words of wisdom, and make sure my path crosses with my mom today. I'll give her a hug just for you.

2 Good Claymates said...

So sorry to hear about your mom. I know it is hard to lose someone close to you but she will always live on inside you and your children. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers to help comfort you.